I have strong opinions about birthdays, so much so that I wanted to make a post about it (— and no it’s not just because I’m an Aries and kicking off the astrological year *hairflip*). While it may be unconventional, I’m using my birthday as a call to action (two parts):
I want you to celebrate your birthday in a big way this year.
To be clear, I’m not asking you to spend a lot money (because giiiiiirl, we’re on the doorsteps of a recession if we aren’t already in one), but I am asking for you to be intentional about how you spend time and energy on your birthday this year.
So, why birthdays? and why this year?
Because joy, togetherness, and generosity of spirit is what is required — not just in cultivating a good life — but as a form of personal and collective resistance in times of oppression.
I know this sentiment is not original, but I think it’s worth emphasizing right now. While this post might be lighthearted, the work of joy is very serious work. Joy is something we cultivate, through momentary and daily practice. Admittedly, this is a big growth area for me, but I am trying! And while Brené Brown might be experiencing a very public ‘come to Jesus’ moment right now in the spotlight, she wasn’t wrong when she wrote “…Joy is the most vulnerable emotion we feel. And that’s saying something, given that I study fear and shame. When we feel joy, it is a place of incredible vulnerability—it’s beauty and fragility and deep gratitude and impermanence all wrapped up in one experience.” Let that sink in: it’s joy — not fear, shame, trauma, etc.. — that’s the most vulnerable part of us. When we trust other people with our joy, we are trusting them with the most vulnerable parts of ourselves.
So gather, celebrate, bust out that karaoke machine (I know I would) — celebrate your singlular, unrepeatable life. There’s no other you. Allow yourself to be seen and celebrated. Encourage one another to do the same.
[As an aside, I’m by no means trying to participate in the dragging of another human that happens to be a public figure — while some of the criticisms of Brown’s methodology and behavior is legitimate, I think it’s important that we keep in mind the media cycle that is specifically set up to drag women in the public eye in particular (i.e. put them on a pedestal, then proceed to drag them into hell, then revel in their mental and emotional undoing). I can think of no better advocate for women in the public eye than Jameela Jamil if you want to learn more about this media topic.]
Anyway, back to your birthday (and mine).
Reflect deeply on your life this year.
Seriously. Take an hour or so to jot down some notes or journal about what this year around the sun has looked like for you. Where do you need to give yourself more credit? Where do you need to let go? What do you need to confront? What behavior do you need to change?
So, here’s a few reflections I’m willing to share for this year.
I am deeply loved and seen.
Accountability and repair is everything in relationships.
I’m still becoming who I want to be.
If “life begins at 40,” then at 38? I am well on my way.
Cheers! And happy [early?/late?] birthday to you!