Pebbles & Praxis #3: Staying Calm & Carrying On
... even when due process is at risk and people-snatching is no longer just a term for horror films
I know, if you’re anything like me? You probably made this face while reading the subheading. How the heck is Habeas Corpus, a cornerstone of not just our democracy, but our written Constitution, somehow at risk? And how are this many Republicans, apathetic Liberals, and Libertarians (you know, the “don’t tread on me” crowd) somehow cool with what’s happening? I have no idea, but someone is making $$$ doing all this.
To be clear, I am not at all trying to downplay the seriousness in this situation (which is looking dire for many folks, and will be for many more if the administration continues to go unchecked and the law entirely bulldozed). But, there are times when we need to ensure that we aren’t taking ourselves too seriously and getting sucked into the fear-mongering zeitgeist that is the American news cycle. And as someone who has that strong proclivity to getting sucked into that kind of spiraling, I imagine myself like Stitch (pictured above) when I can start to feel myself going there.
It’s times like these that I like to be reminded of Epictetus’ Handbook, which begins most aptly this way (the emphasis in bold, italics, and spacing is mine):
“Some things are up to us and some are not.
Up to us are judgement, inclination, desire, aversion*—in short, whatever is our our own doing.
Not up to us are our bodies, possessions, reputations, public offices — in short, whatever isn’t our own doing.
Moreover, the things that are up to us are naturally free, unimpeded, and unobstructed, while the things that aren’t up to us are weak, enslaved, subject to impediment, and not ours.*
So remember this:* if you regard things that are naturally enslaved as free, if you regard things that are not yours as yours, you’ll be obstructed, dejected, and troubled, and you’ll blame both gods and men.
But if you regard as yours only what is yours, and as not yours only when it is not yours, no one will impede you, you’ll blame no one, you’ll reproach no one, you’ll never act reluctantly, no one will harm you, and you’ll have no enemies, because you’ll never suffer harm.”
The last sentence is a little more iffy for me because we know that people are often irrational, stupid, and envious. And there’s no way to completely and utterly avoid that unless you decide you want to live a hermit’s life. But, as for everything else expressed above? I find this sentiment really helpful and clarifying. It reminds me of this helpful diagram that I’ve seen used in therapy sessions (to various degrees and renditions):
It’s been an interesting to see the ways in which many stoic ideas have impacted the world of mental health, and maybe it shouldn’t surprise me? But, it does somehow.
I’m just an American citizen who works for a small charter school in the Midwest. It’s easy to feel defeatist about things, but I have to keep in mind that that is the goal of this administration. The pain is the point. The dehumanization of others is the primer for more violence. They hope we live in fear and trembling; they want to beat us psychologically into submission before they do things to our bodies.
It’s our job not to yield to that, but that begins inside of us.
Hope is not a luxury right now — it’s the fuel for everything we hope to accomplish in our individual and collective lives.
I will say that it helps that I work with amazing kids every day who have taught me more about resilience than most adults I have met. These kids have been through it, and seen the worst sides of humanity. But they still dance, pull senior pranks, sing in the kitchen, ooze joy, love others, show grace, and share what little they have with one another. And I have been on the receiving end of that grace and love more times than I deserve.
What’s in my control? Not much. But, I tell truth, I keep learning, I write my officials, I sign petitions, I attend peaceful protests, I support businesses that reflect my values, and most of all — I continue to be unapologetically myself, and act within alignment of my values. It may not be much, but it’s what I have within my control.
Keep at it. We all need you.
Cheers.